Today, we woke up early. We went shopping and had breakfast outside. Since it was a very sunny day, we decided to go to J’s summer house. We packed, passed by the grocery and arrived a bit before noon. Unfortunately, since her aunt was there, the sex party was kind of compromised. We killed the time for an hour setting up the sun bathing spot, testing the water, bringing everything next to our camp not to have to move all day. There is a little house with a big wooden terrace next to the lake, that is where we were. Once we were ready to fully enjoy the sun, the party alarm rang: “Guys, I’m going to the grocery do you need anything?” -No, thanks. We gave each other an accomplice kind of eye contact and the swimsuits were off. In those situations, I love to take control. What about J? Well she loves to suck my cock, so she did. When I was fully hard in her mouth I grabbed her by the hair, not to hurt but to make her stand up and make her understand that I am in a naughty/pervert mood and that we won’t make Love, but we will Fuck good. “Put your hands on the wall my love” I slid my dick in her. This first penetration is always so good, feel the wetness of our organs, the warmth of her… Hmmm then I told her to give me her hands and go on bending over. This way, you have a nice and deep penetration, the dick doesn’t get out and her beautiful back is nicely arched. I could have reached climax there but I so didn’t want this fuck to be over. I took a mattress from a chair and put it on the edge of the terrace. She got on it on her knees. Then I took her from behind for a while. It is so exciting the way she puts her ass up and her chest on the ground, with her face on the side so she can look at me pounding her. This is a very intense turn-on position. The next position was at the same place but she turned and lay on her back. It is always nice to fuck outside, you can see all the details of her intimacy under the sun. I spread her legs, one lay against a column, the other in my left hand. I was moving back and forth in her for few minutes and then stopped and kept my dick just at the opening of her vagina. I spat right on her clit and with my right thumb, started doing circles on it. I kept on doing those circles for several minutes, kept on spitting when it was getting dryer. I was completely absorbed in giving her maximum pleasure. Switching the speed of my fingers from fast to slower and fast and slower again. Looking at her eyes rolling back, legs shaky, spasms in the belly… telling you you’re on the right track. I started doing the same movement as fucking, but my dick wasn’t going inside of her, it was only rubbing her lips up and down. When I knew the climb up to the orgasm had started, and it was getting closer, I began to slow down my circles. The more the climax was close, the more slow I was doing it. My goal is to very smoothly decelerate in synchronization so that my finger almost stops when she starts orgasming. This slow down process makes the climb up last so much longer and makes the orgasm xxx times greater. When the big bang happens inside of her, I know that her body doesn’t respond to anything. So what I always do there is try to open her legs and pound her really hard and deep. I pounded her until I was exhausted. I was a bit disappointed that she didn’t squirt over me. I’m the kind of naughty man who loves to be squirted on by my girl. After the pounding session, I didn’t have enough energy to go on for me to come. So I gave her a kiss, and went for a skinny dipping in the fresh water. When I came back, she was complaining that she can’t feel her face or her hands. This means “I just came hard as hell, thank you”.
-L
A day at the lake
Dear readers,
Due to our particular situation of being a cosmopolitan couple, we weren’t together for some time just after we finished moving into our new apartment. Now that we are back together, we thought we’d share some parts of our sex diary. We hope you enjoy!
-L & J
Dirty joke of the week
This guy walks into a bar. There’s only one person other than the patron sitting in it, and he looks lonely, so the guy tries to strike up a conversation.
“Hi, my name’s Mike. What’s yours?”
The guy turns and says. “Tom.” Then he points out the window and says, “You see that wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands.”
Mike looks out the window and says, “Well, that’s a very nice wall.”
“You’re damn right it is! Tallest brick wall in three countries!” Tom screams. “But do people call me ‘Tom the Mason’? No, they don’t.” He points out the window again and says, “You see that sign across the street? Well I painted that sign. And it’s the most beautifully painted sign in the whole town! But do they call me ‘Tom the Sign painter’? No, they don’t.”
“Well, that’s just – “
“And do you see this bar we’re drinking at?” Tom interrupts. “I carved this bar with my own hands! All the inlaid wood and the brass accents. But do they call me ‘Tom the Carpenter’? No, they don’t.”
He drains his glass and shakes his head. “But you fuck one little sheep…”
Role-play
The first idea that probably comes to the minds of most people when they hear the word role-play is dressing up as a fireman/maid or some other evident sex symbol. What’s surprising is that role-playing is actually at its best when it’s not that ‘special’, and instead more effortless.
We got into role-playing for the first time as an accident. We were having drinks at a bar after a nice dinner, in a city that was new to the other one of us. For some reason L thought of randomly starting to act as though we’d just met. The moment I realized what he was doing the turn-on power was amazing, and I was in 200%. Somehow this conversation as two strangers put us right back to the night we first met, only this time in the back of your mind you could be sure you were going to score. Small things that have become everyday and unsurprising, like hands touching when you’re setting down your drink, or feet sweeping against each other when you move position, can suddenly become extremely exciting. Part of the thrill probably comes from the fact that in reality, you know how into you the other person is, which brings an element of control that usually is not there when you’ve just met someone.
Starting up a scene like this can be tricky, since it might not be clear to the other person what’s going on if you just suddenly start acting as a stranger in the middle of a conversation. But if you for instance go get a new drink and return with a new approach, it’s a lot easier to get in the mode for both you and the person you’re with. As a woman, when I think of a situation where a guy I’m going out with would come back from the bathroom, look at me in a way he normally doesn’t, then walk up to me, put his drink down and say he’s been watching me, what’s my name, there’s no way I wouldn’t be instantly excited. This is also an awesome way to re-appreciate things you already knew about the other person and have taken for granted. For example, a lot of couples don’t spend a lot of time talking about each other’s work. But when you’re pretending like you just met, it’s a natural thing to discuss, and you might be surprised how hot it can be to hear your lover describe their skills and abilities to you like they would to a new acquaintance. If you manage to keep the role-play up until you get back home, it can even make sex talk easier. Since you just met (and who knows if you’re gonna meet again or not), the threshold to say things you’re normally shy about might lower.
It’s surprising how many couples start seeing each other, and soon fall into a certain sex routine where experimenting on new things is rare. You might have asked each other about favorite positions back when you started dating. But the truth is, once intimacy develops between people, what you consider your favorite position or dream sex scene can change and evolve. We tend to keep our nasty freakshow fantasies to ourselves at the start not to scare people off. Playing strangers can nicely put the topic back on the table, and you have the perfect setting to ask what the other person would really, really like to do. If you’re not that used to you spelling it out, ‘Put your dick in my mouth now’ or ‘Open your legs and let me touch you’ are simple yet very efficient. Turn-on guaranteed, to both.
- J
Dirty joke of the week
One morning a young woman walked out her front door and noticed a strange little man perched on a rock in her garden. He was smoking a long pipe, wore a pointed hat, and had shrewd, wizened features.
Quietly, she snuck up behind the little man and said, “Gotcha! You’re a goblin and I caught you!”
The goblin was pissed. “All right, yes, fine. You got me. So what?”
“You can’t fool me”, said the woman. “I know the rules. If someone catches you, you have to grant them three wishes.”
“That’s true,” said the goblin. “What are your three wishes?”
The woman thought for a minute and then said, “I want a million dollars, a 100-acre horse ranch, and a diamond the size of a baseball.”
“You got it,” said the goblin, who clapped his hands and did a little jig. “But first, you have to have sex with me all night. That’s the only way to make the wishes come true.”
The woman wasn’t too keen on the idea, but she agreed.
The next morning the goblin woke up the woman, “Tell me, how old are you?”
“I’m 25,” replied the woman.
“Fuck me,” said the little man, “Twenty-five and you still believe in goblins.”
Thanks for your patience!
We would like to apologize for the silence, we are in the process of moving into a more inspiring environment for Loveskills research. Will be back to normal soon.
xxx
J & L
Dirty joke of the week
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?” He coolly replies, “Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you.”
Female vs. male brain
The differences between feminine and masculine brains are among the most discussed and joked about topics in history. They also cause uncountable arguments and problems in couples, a big part of which are misunderstandings and could have been avoided by just talking straight.
Moving on from a situation where both sides like to win is essentially about pride. Neither wants to be the one letting go of their case, and when you’re against an equally strong personality, no one can win and both sides will end up feeling like shit with no real reason. The skill is to know when it’s easier for you than the other person to let go of the issue. No matter how much proof women get to support the fact that men think along straighter lines, they somehow still apply their own logic to what goes on in the guy’s mind.
The problem is that women often think one thing and say something different when they feel bad or angry. I’m fine = Something’s up. Sure, go ahead = I’ll be offended if you do. One of the worst situations is when a man and a woman are going to sleep and she’s mad or offended. The man will probably know by then that something’s wrong, and might give asking if everything’s alright a go before going to sleep. The woman will lie and say yeah. So the man either believes her, or decides whatever, I’m not gonna force it if she doesn’t want to talk about it. In reality nothings alright, and in her head the woman thinks ‘ask me again and we’ll see, you should know me well enough to know you need to persuade me into telling you’. By this time the man is probably already asleep, and when the woman realizes this it drives her furious. ‘He doesn’t even care??? How can he just go to sleep??’ Because he’s tired and sick of solving enigmas. The truth is, he gave her the chance to say what’s wrong. Why is it so difficult for women to do this? She will now be wider-awake than ever, and lie there staring at the ceiling, gathering frustration and anger up to the point where she finally says it. “I can’t believe you can just go to sleep.” Suddenly, it should be clear to him that issues remain unsolved. He wakes up from a semi-sleep and is totally out of it. Studies show that being tired affects our functioning in the same way as being drunk, so the middle of the night really isn’t one of the best moments for a relationship development discussion in any case.
All women should try talking straight to their man. Expecting them to pick up hints and solve puzzles is usually a waste of time, and only results in the woman piling up negativity and disappointment when the man is not getting it. An nice place to start is not with negative feedback or pointing out why you’re mad at him, but with turn-ons. Instead of an hour of working on your hair and make-up to get him wanting it, a simple “Take me now” usually works quite well. Especially if you’re the type that usually likes to drop clues and wait for him to pick them up, he’ll probably be thrilled that for once you’re saying it like it is.
- J
Stop being shy with your Lover
The stereotype is that men can have amazing sex with women they’ve just met, but women need to love to be able to get to the highest levels of pleasure. Like any stereotype this only true for a portion of people, and men and women are equally capable of having mindblowing sex after knowing each other for just one night. The difference comes from the fact that it is usually more difficult for a woman to come during sex than it is for a man. The more relevant point is that both women and men will most likely enjoy sex more when they know each other better, whether that comes with falling in love or not.
Based on our experience the one change that takes sex between two people to another level is when both stop being shy and holding back. We know what we are talking about here. For everyone this doesn’t need to mean living out a porn film, the starting point defines what is bold and gives the feeling of taking things up a notch. For people who like sex like we do, things like leaving the lights on or trying new positions or talking about masturbation are likely not adventurous. These suggestions on how to raise the bar of what you feel comfortable doing are directed more to experimental people with healthy self-esteems.
Listen to dirty music. An easy warm-up tool (and also a source of inspiration) is pornographic music. Playing songs where nasty stuff is spelled out doesn’t require you to say it yourself, but both of you will know what’s talked about. Dirty music is also awesome for getting ideas for dirty talk for those who are not sure about how to say it (for L’s tips on dirty talking see this). Below are some titles to get you started.
1. Necro is probably one of the dirtiest guys alive. His songs are good for this purpose cause their beat and melody are usually pleasing to both women and men – with an open mind, or sense of humor, it depends. Good ones are for example ‘Who’s your daddy’ and ‘Vaginal secretions’.
2. Ying Yang Twins – The Whisper song. Awesome lyrics.
3. Jose Nunez – Bilingual. Explicit and from a woman’s perspective.
4. Nine Inch Nails – Closer. For adding some aggressive vibe.
5. Nickelback – Figured you out. More aggression.
(for a youtube playlist including the above songs and some more, go here.)
Masturbate together. Thinking of masturbation as a solo activity or the ‘natural step before sex’ according to health education at junior high is limited. There’s several benefits that can come out of getting yourself off next to each other:
After having masturbated next to each other, you will feel so much more comfortable talking about what gives both of you pleasure. For instance “Does this feel good? Take my hand and show me how you make yourself come, etc. etc.” Even for a man, there is shyness to come next to a woman. But when you come, this is such a turn on, sworn to all Gods. Masturbation is seen by the society as a private thing, even sinful (especially in religious contexts). Doing it next to your lover breaks all taboos around it. It’s an absolute win-win formula; you can teach him/her what you like done, you are able to see what your lover does and be able to do it to them, but most importantly, it teaches (even forces) you to completely relax, let go of inhibitions, and be fully exposed. To those who have difficulty relaxing with the other person right there, try first filming yourself doing it and sending the other person the file. You won’t need to be there when they view it, but you’ll be one step closer. (If possible, send the vid when they’re at work, have them replay it all day, and see what happens when they get home) OMGGG, you will kill your man!!
Let them do the talking. Raising the topic of a fantasy or something you feel like experimenting with can be difficult. If you want to talk about a certain sex topic but you feel shy about it, a way to bring it up is a question like “Do you think we should have taboos on sex? I would like to have your opinion on a sexual thing.” This will surely get all his/her attention. Then you can talk of ANYTHING you want. Few people would like to admit to their lover that they think there should be taboos, so this way you can open the door for more sex talk.
Relaxation. Another thing that takes down barrier on sex is of course, a glass of wine. Let’s say you had a nice dinner, one or two bottles, the laughs come easier, you feel relaxed, there is no stress around. This is a really good mood to try things and talk about sex.
Watching porn. When you are watching people doing it, you don’t need to put the words on the table, but you can simply ask; “Would you do this? I think this must feel so good” or “That I don’t like.” Then since the topic has been talked about, the taboos around it are bound to have reduced at least a bit. Even during sex, porn can help in making suggestions. Instead of saying “Would you mind touching the area right behind my balls while you stroke my dick so I can pull your hair and after come on your tits” you can ask if she’d like to do what that woman on the clip did.
The goal of letting down your guard is to arrive in a place where (at least hypothetically) you could be on a walk in the woods, decide you’d like to fuck, and strip down in broad daylight, outside, sit on his face/slap her lips with your dick, and have the best time of your life.
- J & L
Deepthroating
When I first got interested in this topic I tried to research it online. After reading dozens of extremist-feminist forum responses to devoted girlfriends asking for deepthroating advice (“He must be immature and watch too much porn, cut him off Bjs altogether!”), I decided experimenting on my own is less frustrating. So here’s my contribution to the deepthroat debate.
You need to love it. First of all, and against regular misconception, deepthroating can be very enjoyable for a woman. When you get the hang of the breathing technique and how to position your throat, it does not hurt or make you throw up as some seem to think. One thing is for sure, you need to want to do it, not only because it requires a bit of motivation to overcome the starting difficulties, but because he’ll notice if you look like you’re suffering = turn-off. Practice brings results, and no man will object if you announce you’d like to start rehearsing deepthroating.
Positions. Probably the most frequent advice on how to start attempting at deepthroating is to lay on your back on the bed, with your head hanging off the edge. This automatically puts your head in the ideal position to get a dick in as far as possible. Start the same way you normally blow him, but focus on getting his dick a little bit further with each thrust (thrusts you create, not him. If he doesn’t know it, tell him to absolutely not ram it in you mouth no matter how excited he gets. That’s gonna hurt you and likely also him when you get surprised and your teeth end up where they shouldn’t.) Controlling the depth his dick reaches is easiest by holding the base of it in your hand. As your throat warms up and saliva accumulates, you’ll be able to take him in further and further.
To me, the above mentioned position (of lying on the bed with your head tilted) was actually not the most pleasant one for practicing, cause it makes blood run into the head and got me feeling queasy before I even got properly going. I prefer either kneeling in front of the man or having him lay on the bed, legs apart. When he’s on his back you have full control of how deep you take him, and in this game patience wins. !Remember to attach your hair! (Guys love talking hold of a ponytail while you’re at work) If he’s standing up, you can add visual (which is known to turn men on powerfully) by moving in front of a mirror. He’ll have a nice view on your back and ass and his own hand at the back of your head, which will probably make the job quicker for you. Up to now it sounds fun and easy, but unfortunately there’s some challenges to work on before you can fully enjoy giving it to him. Troubleshooting is discussed next.
Gagging. This is the thing women fear most about deepthroating. The sensitivity of the gag reflex is highly personal. But by rehearsing regularly everyone should be able to reduce the reflex. Even though many sources suggest doing this with a dildo, I am not a fan of this, as a dildo never has the exact same texture and firmness as a hard dick. It won’t bend the same way and adjust to your throat, and practicing with one can discourage you. Best to use the real thing. Also, when you’ve gone on for a while, you might notice your mouth produces more saliva than during a normal blowjob (god’s way of saying YES for deepthroating!) This makes things easier as places are well lubricated, but make sure you empty your mouth when it gets too much. A mouthful of saliva will likely make you gag when you try to insert a dick in as well. If you think it won’t make you feel sick, swallow (this is best done often so you never have to swallow a big amount.) Another option is to spit everything on his dick while stroking it, which adds to the nastiness of the situation.
In the positions where he’s sitting or standing in front of you, his dick will hit against your palate, which is sensitive to gag reflex. This is why it’s perhaps better to leave these positions to times when you’re already used to the activity.
Focus on your tongue. In order to get his dick in deeper, you need to push out your tongue to make room inside your mouth. This exposes the parts of your mouth most likely to trigger gag reflex, and that’s why it’s a good idea to divert your attention elsewhere. Focus on what you can do with your tongue as you move your lips up and down his dick. Unless he occupies all the space between your lips, you can flatten your tongue and move it along his shaft, which he’ll probably enjoy cause he’s not expecting that many things to be going on at the same time. In general, alternating between deepthroating, stroking while licking the tip of his dick and the area behind his balls, teabagging, or holding your tongue firmly against the head of his dick while stroking fast give you enough time to catch your breath so you can enjoy what you’re going.
Respiration. Regardless of the position, the number one rule about deepthroating is to BREATHE. As soon as you feel your gag reflex kicking in, take his dick out a bit and draw some deep breaths. Whenever you need to do this, keep stroking him with your hand, and you won’t interrupt the pleasure he’s having. For longer breaks work your tongue and lips like you’d normally do when blowing him (after mastering deepthroating, you’ll notice ‘regular’ blowjobs start feeling like picnics).
The breaking point is when you feel his penis touching the back of your palate, and you think that’s as far as it can get. Wrong. By focusing and breathing through your nose you can shove it in the extra few cm/an inch/xxx (depending on his size). Start by getting it in all the way for a short while at a time and then pulling out; you’ll notice it’s not impossible, and once you get used to the feeling of the dick blocking your throat and learn to calmly breathe through your nose, you’ll be able to stay there longer. From personal experience, guys love it when you take it in all the way and hold as long as you are able. Sound effects are welcome as well, if you feel like you’re working at the edge of your limits, don’t hold back the moans, it will make him feel like his dick is almost too big for you to handle. (Sometimes, there’s situations where you simply are not able to deepthroat him, like after a night of drinking. I find a good way to tell him it’s not gonna happen tonight is “I can’t. You’re too big and hard, it’s too much.” He’ll probably be too proud of his amazing erection to be too disappointed).
When you start getting the hang of it, you can indicate to your man that it’s ok for him to take more control of the situation. To most men, taking hold of a woman’s head while she’s performing is part of the fantasy. Just make sure he understands that any injury he causes you will probably result in sick leave.
And finally, waterproof mascara is a good idea if you want your face to stay presentable. A dick deep in your throat will likely make your eyes water. ..But for many guys, the disheveled, post-BJ look with messy hair and melted mascara is a turn-on. Makes them feel like the king of the porn film.
- J
Men, dirty talk.
This can sound rude, but ALL men should dirty talk. There are ways to do it that will arouse your woman. This is the goal, not to put her off. Keep this in mind gentlemen.
You can dirty talk at any moment and anywhere. As an example, you can surprise her at the grocery by dropping a “bomb” in her ear and walking away. This will create maximum sexual tension and someone will start dying to arrive home asap. Or, as I prefer to do it, get at it when wearing nothing but your Adam suit. It`s important to be in a state of mind where you feel like you can say anything you fantasize about sexually. Tell yourself that your woman is willing to try anything. Imagine yourself pushing the limits of your sex routine. What would you love to do the most? This is exactly what you need to dirty talk about. It is very important that you don’t smirk or start laughing. To be able to build up your fantasy, you will need to construct a story around it. Your voice should be low, heavy and firm. Imagine the tone you would use talking to someone who owes you a lot of money, in a library. When you start dirty talking, exaggerate the details of what you would do, and talk slowly. This will give you time to think of what you will say next. Since it is dirty talking for now (you don’t actually do what you say), you can say stuff that is beyond your sexual limits. The limit remaining is imagination. If at any moment your girl wants to interrupt you, or starts laughing, immediately take control with something like : “Shhhh-Shhh, I’m not even finished with you”. From personal experience, using another language than the usual one to communicate, works like a charm! (of course you must be fluent enough in this language to be credible. Women love accents.) I have been very ambiguous so far about ideas of WHAT to say. I only gave you hints on the way to think so you will be creative when you dirty talk. Next is an example of what I will say tonight to my girl, more or less.
At night, we will go brush our teeth, go to bed. Regardless of what she does, starts reading, closes her eyes and says “good night”, I will glue my body to hers. I’ll have a hand on her hip or on her tit, firmly. I will remove her hair from in front of her ear and place my mouth at 1 inch from it. “Hey honey, I was looking at you during dinner and I started thinking of going down on you. Giving you kisses all the way down, opening your legs, covering your pussy with my palm, discovering you’re already wet. Hmmm you know how I love it when you’re all wet. You know what I thought of doing? I would start licking both of your lips up and down to warm you up, and then… I‘d make sure you feel ALL my tongue smoothly rubbing your clit until you are completely wet. And since I know you’re one fine nasty bitch, I would not stay down for too long. You love to get fucked huh? I would be already so hard by the time I started licking you, I would just stand on my knees and stroke your pussy with my dick.. up and down. I would get in you just a bit to tease you and with my other hand softly do some rounds on your clit until I feel all your body is dying to receive me. Then, trust me I would not be soft. I would penetrate you as deep as I can. Would take your breast in my hands, grab you by the throat. After a hot start like this, I couldn’t hold it for a long run…. Touch me baby, see how hard I am for you.”
I would already be all hard because of that. After talk like this, no need for any additional foreplay. Note that when you are talking, you should keep on touching her everywhere. When you know you’ll be done with your story soon, start moving your hand between her legs. Some girls prefer even dirtier talk, for example more dick in their mouth and jizz over them involved. Other will be more frigid to this kind of talk, but will still be turned on by the tone you’re using and the way you touch them. It is entirely up to you how long to talk. Hope I gave you inspiration and you have a great night. Do not hesitate to share your ideas on dirty talking…
-L
Dirty joke of the week
* * *
“No, Mom, down underneath.”
Do you attract her?
We’ve all met someone interesting that we wanted to score with on the first date. Sometimes the door is open and sometimes it’s firmly closed. After reading this article, you might be more careful about small details that will tell you if your date is as interested as you are. Note that the conversation is not the main point. It has to be entertaining and pleasant of course, but the main focus should be on analyzing the other person’s physical behavior.
Let’s drop you in a crowded bar where you’re having a conversation with a person you’ve just met. How to let her know that you are attracted and know if she’s attracted too, without asking? Here’s 4 subtle cues that will bring you the answer and who knows,maybe lead to the 2nd date or straight to bed!!
The first touch back. Okay, she attracts you, but is it mutual? From my point of view, the first test is to touch her. Let’s say you’ve just said something funny. When both of you laugh grab her arm. Or in a situation where you didn’t hear what she said, lean in placing a hand on her back and ask her to repeat. These are easy and natural ways to touch her for the first time. After this touch, pay attention to what she does. Does she touch you back with her hand, foot, or shoulder on shoulder? If yes, this probably means “You are interesting so far”. If she doesn’t touch back, try again to touch her in another way, but make sure to keep it gentlemanly. Being rude will ruin your game. If after few attempts she doesn’t touch you back, it might be that she is shy, but it’s probable that you are wasting your time, move on!
Talk in her ear. Even tough you can hear her from where you are, leaning over her shoulder and talking while breathing in her neck will create sexual tension. If she seems to accept it and stays comfortable, you are on the right track.
Face her. This is one of the most important points. If you are attracted, show it. Make sure your bodies are facing. When she talks, listen. No ones likes to talk to someone who is distracted by everything around you, so focus!
Pay attention to crossed arms. Crossed arms usually mean being unimpressed or defensive. Don’t cross your arms and if your date keeps doing this and doesn’t participate too much in the discussion, don’t waste your time there, you’re worth more.
This was written from a masculine point of view. If you are a woman and just finished reading, think about these points the next time you are flirting. Your body tells a lot of things unconsciously.
- L
Woman, masturbate.
A standard piece of advice magazines give for better reaching orgasm is to “get to know your own body” and to learn what turns you on and makes you come. But that’s usually where the story ends, there are no specifics on how exactly to do this. There is truth in the statement, if you are not able to get off on your own, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to advise the man you’re with to do a better job. When you know exactly what muscles to contract and what positions to stay in to make it easiest to come, you’ll be able to transfer that to when you have sex. It can be surprising how much better sex you can have by just knowing better how to work your own body.
All women should own a vibrator. No matter what they show in movies, getting yourself off with only your own hand is a myth for most women. A lot more stimulation is required than your own hand can create, especially if it’s not that easy for you to reach orgasm (which in my experience is the case with the majority of women). The same effect applies to touching yourself as does to tickling yourself, it just doesn’t work as well. You need to be able to focus on the pelvic muscles, not the ones in your hands, and that’s what a vibrator allows you to do. Once you know how to come with a vibrator, the easiest way to work towards orgasming during sex is to use a vibrator while he fucks you. When that works, you can start teaching him to touch you in a way that eventually replaces the need for a vibrator.
Good masturbation positions. It is not irrelevant how your body is positioned when you masturbate. To many women this is clear after years of experimentation, but there are still surprisingly many girls that have actually never been able to get themselves off. With a vibrator, the most natural starting position is lying down on a bed. Legs need to be fully apart, exposing you clitoris, with knees folded, feet against the bed. This way you can lift your hips slightly, which contracts the pelvis muscles and creates the extra tension often needed to get there. (This position can be directly applied to when you have sex with a man: place pillows under your lower back while he fucks you kneeling between your legs, and use a vibrator at the same time. Don’t overdo the height of the pillows so that you are able to still put your feet on the bed and lift your hips if you feel like it. If he’s good, he can do the work of the vibrator with his hands.) Another good position is to sit on the side of a bed, right on the edge, so you can spread your legs (like in an abductor at the gym) but still have your feet on the ground to stop you from sliding off the bed. Hip movement will let you know what exact position is best. (Adding a man – or a woman – to this one works sublimely when they’re going down on you, they can kneel on the floor in between your legs and have full access with both their mouth and hands, and you’ll be able to lean back against your hands or elbows)
Especially after coming once or more, the orgasms can be made stronger by forcing the pelvic and thigh muscles to work harder. This is easiest by getting on your knees – preferably on the floor, a bed is not necessarily a firm enough surface – and while using the vibrator, keeping yourself upright. You can adjust the angle at which you hold the vibrator as well as how high you keep your ass from the floor, and usually vertical movement enhances the sensation. This requires some strength from thigh muscles, but the orgasms usually get stronger as your thighs build up lactic acid and it becomes tougher to stay in the position. Powerful motivation to work out so you can go on longer. (This position can work amazingly with a man if he fucks you from behind while you are both on your knees. With a vibrator you can make sure you do it the way that makes you come, but when a man knows how to touch you right it’s even better.)
The point is to learn the way to an orgasm on your own, so that during sex you’re able to position yourself in a way that allows you to finish, hopefully several times.
- J
